Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
