from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Duck Duck Cougar?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
