were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
