How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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