is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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