And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize