he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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