i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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