im gay
i know
yea but for you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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