i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
