hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
