what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
