i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
