Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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