He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
