last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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