So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
