I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
