"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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