Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
