I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
