I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
