She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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