Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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