I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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