I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize