Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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