i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize