I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
