There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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