billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
