So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
