i just google imaged poop.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
