At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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