apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
