well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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