Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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