I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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