my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
