Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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