i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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