Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
