I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
