TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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