get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
