Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize