I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
