hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I did not marry a roomba.
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