she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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