my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
