I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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