Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
