We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
