Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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