Got a toothbrush?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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