you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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