Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
