some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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