2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
