Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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