so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
