Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
