Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
