Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
