Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
