I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
