I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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