I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
