WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
