After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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