I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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